Lessons Learned: The Week In Review

Another week into the quest for simplification.

I have clarified for myself that I am trying to simplify in a way that creates BALANCE, focuses on HEALTH, ORGANIZATION, RELATIONSHIPS and PRIORITIZING, with an end result of PEACE. So on each topic, where am I? What lessons am I learning? What improvements need to be made?

1. ORGANIZATION

Two things I have done this week are really working for me.

First, I am trying to get up before my children do in the morning. Just a few extra minutes seems to make a world of difference in terms of the ease of the morning routine, and my ability to handle deviations from it. I've been able to happily field breakfast requests that require a little more time and effort and to feel I am blessing my family when I slide hot eggs and fresh fruit on the children's plates to accompany their usual cereal or waffles. I like to make my bed in the morning, I have to take out the dog, I usually try to unload the dishwasher, I start the car before we leave so it is toasty warm when we get in....I usually have some of my own 'errands' to accomplish in the mornings. Getting up just a few minutes before my children makes this all seem so much easier. This is something I want to make a daily habit.

Room for improvement in this area: If I would get up 20 minutes earlier, I could be showered and fully ready for the day (in my workout gear, of course). I know there is room for improvement here, but have to admit I LOVE my sleep so I am keeping it in mind, but not quite ready to take the additional step yet.

Second, I am taking the time to clean the downstairs each evening. This is awesome. Every night, once the darling children are tucked in their beds and Mr. Simplify is curled up with a good book or sports program, I gather all the remaining dishes from the sink and around the house and load the dishwasher, put away all the little toys, papers, remote controls, doggie playthings, etc. that are strewn about, wash down the counters, fluff the pillows on the couch, fold the throw covers, and THEN head up to start my own relaxing. I will admit there have been several nights I have not wanted to do this. I do love my sleep and relaxation and I'm not a night owl. However, it is totally worth the extra time and effort. It feels wonderful to walk downstairs in the morning into a clean, shiny and welcoming kitchen. I think it is the other component that is making our mornings so lovely and easy. Everyone feels better when they come into rooms without any chaos. Everything feels right, so you feel right too. I want to make this a habit as well, and I think I am on my way. Also, it does seem to encourage me to really try to keep it all from going too far south as the day progresses. I'm trying to let go of the "I can do that tomorrow" mentality as far as the kitchen and downstairs are concerned. I think this is an organizational habit that works for me, creates peace, and blesses my family. Good things!

Now the upstairs.....well, one thing at a time!

I try to keep closets, drawers, etc. pretty uncluttered and organized. However, the area where we keep sports gear, doggie supplies, school work, coats, cleaning material, etc., etc., etc. isn't there. A goal for this week it to rethink that area and make it really functional for the many family needs it serves.....

There are lots of other areas in my life with room for organizational improvement too, but I definitely don't want to overwhelm myself.

2. HEALTH

I love our elliptical. I find it shockingly hard some mornings to just walk into the room and place my feel on the machine. What is up with that? Once I do, however, I love using it and I love how I feel after. I definitely want to keep up the five times per week workout. I'd also like to incorporate some yoga into my weekly exercise. I have recorded a yoga program on our TV and had great intentions to try one last week, but never did. I know I need to build in strength training into my workout routine, but I am really pleased with my commitment to getting cardiovascular exercise.

Healthy eating is another story. I've been much more aware this week of how I eat and I think I am really failing in this area. I do some things right, but I need serious improvement. Last night I looked in the mirror and felt like a puffy little marshmallow. I usually have 'fanorexia', the complete opposite of body image issues, so I know I need to improve here. I think the logical step would be to keep a food journal and hold myself REALLY accountable. For some reason, this is a really hard idea to commit to. Also, I know I need to build breakfast into my daily food routine. I need to build some healthy habits here and eliminate some unhealthy ones.

3. RELATIONSHIPS

My husband's grandfather's funeral was last week. Like all of his family, I loved him dearly. He passed away at the age of almost 95. He left a great 'love legacy'. That is the legacy I want to leave as well. It is the ultimate gift.

My dear husband inspired me this year to incorporate a daily devotional into my before bed routine. I bought Joyce Meyer's biblically based book, 100 Ways to Simplify Your Life. I've been using each short section as my springboard. This has been wonderful. I love ending my day on prayer. It has made me more mindful each day and I find myself more prayerful throughout the day. This is definitely bringing me more peace.

4. BALANCE and PRIORITIZING

Wow! There is definitely room for improvement here! I have been using the powerful words, "No, but thank you so much for thinking of me" and, "I'm so sorry but I can't help you with xxx (insert request of your choice here)" so much more. I actually started using those words in November when I began to think that the 2010 Goal was going to be simplification. However, I have a lot of commitments, both big and small. I am room mom, I am chairing a philanthropic luncheon for 600+ ladies, I am co-chairing the underwriting campaign for one of the largest fundraisers for cancer research in the world, I serve on boards, I bring goodies to sweet friends, I do, I do, I do.

I do, so therefore I don't. There is only so much time in the day. I can't do everything, although my inclination is to try. This week I was really mindful of my time and where I was spending it. Wow! I spend an inordinate amount of time while my children are at school (and additional time some evenings) on volunteer commitments of one kind or another. I'm not sure this is a bad thing, but when I can't stay fully on top of the laundry or fit in some yoga (two things I didn't do this week that I would have liked to), the balance isn't there. I don't want to eliminate volunteer commitments from my life. They enrich me and others. That's a good thing. But I really have to be continually mindful of the full scope of my commitments. I also need to measure the level of importance the organization or person I am helping has to me personally. I always want to help my dearest friends when they need me, and I always want to be able to give of myself to our church and to the children's school and activities. This needs to be my number one priority in volunteerism and the rest should flow from there. However, the already established commitments I have for 2010 mean that this will be an ongoing quest, and the real results may not be fully evident for some time.

5. PEACE

I have had more peace in my life this week. Two small organizational habits, some exercise, and a daily devotional have an enormous impact on my daily well being. I want to continue those habits.

I also want to take other steps towards simplifying. Over the course of the year, that is going to mean building more new habits while eliminating some old ones. I have learned that habit building and behavioral change take time. Trying to do everything at once is a short term change that I can't maintain over time. So I am giving myself permission to let this be a year-long goal where change occurs over time. Simply maintaining the four habits I am building into my routine thus far would be a significant life improvement. I am proud of the progress I am making thus far, and excited to see continued changes.

Succesful Simplification

Tonight we had dear friends over to dinner. The whole Simplify family had a great time!
I am proud because I kept it simple: I made an easy make ahead dinner (chili and cornbread) that took minimal effort on my part but was still healthy and delicious. It was just as much fun and enjoyable for all of us, and I wasn't overly stressed or busy in preparation for their visit. Clean up was a breeze too.
As part of the simplification effort, I want to surround myself (and our family) with people who we truly enjoy spending time with. I want to be around people who help to make me a better person and who enrich my life. I loved visiting with our friends tonight, and when they left the whole family felt so happy and grateful for the time we had spent together.
Mr. Simplify and I invest a lot of time socially to parties, charity events, and a variety of 'must-do's .... but are they really 'must-do's? Part of the prioritizing for simplification is going to be to really consider all the invitations and to be willing to say no to some of those that aren't going to enrich our lives or bring us closer to the people we love and truly want to spend time with. This is going to be a really tricky task, but at least having it in mind will help in making more thoughtful decisions as to where we commit our social time.

To Emphasize My Point

I have an embarrassing admission that emphasizes my point regarding how healthy living must be a part of my simplification plan.
Mr. Simplify and our Dear Son (DS) are out of town on a fabulous and fun boys' trip. Sigh....miss them! Mrs. Simplify and our Darling Daughter (DD) are snuggling up and having slumber parties and movie nights whose main characters are all animals....
Last night DD asked if she could please, please have a McDonald's Happy Meal for dinner, a rare treat. I acquiesced, which is all fine and good, but at the drive through I made a not-so-healthy personal decision and ordered a small cheeseburger and small fries. It just seemed simpler than fixing dinner for myself when we got home.
After dinner, as I happily blogged about incorporating health into my 2010 SIMPLIFY resolution, my stomach struggled to digest my less-than-healthy meal. Peaceful slumber came quickly, but did not last. By 2 am I was awoken with nausea and an upset stomach, which proceeded to wake me up many more times over the course of the night. A strong point proving that I need to eat healthy and be healthy. What I thought would be the simple choice was not. A poor night's sleep is never good. Most likely, it is all the little choices I make that add up to a less simplified life.

Simplicity = Balance

My good friend, Elise McVeigh, send me a great e-mail that can also be found on her blog:
http://elisemcveigh.com/Blog.aspx
Elise wisely points to the importance of achieving BALANCE. I suspect balance is one of the key components to what my simplified life would look like. I hadn't considered her perspective before ... it is not just about the balance, it is about performing at your peak in each area of your life. 'Living Your Best Life' as Oprah would say. I'm not sure I can get there this year, but it is a good perspective to consider.
While part of my 2010 goals include exercise and healthier eating, I am just now realizing that part of simplifying is going to be committing to healthy living as a priority. Not only will it simplify my future health issues (I hope!) but it will reduce stress and increase my happiness and contentment. I know it is going to be hard to continue to exercise 5 times a week (but easier than it would have been ... thank you Mr. Simplify for the best Christmas present EVER, an elliptical machine). It is definitely going to be challenging for me to reduce the amount of sugar and carbs that I consume. I always joke that my favorite diet is the FATkins Diet, because I LOVE sugar and carbs. LOVE them! I also love to cook and I want to savor food and the experiences of our lives that occur around food -- family dinners, holiday get-togethers, date nights, cocktails and nibbles with dear friends, etc. I believe in the power of joyfully preparing food for others to nurture and bless them. I love they way food tastes and believe the breaking of bread is an important part of having balance, peace, and fulfilment. So my challenge here is to commit to HEALTH as one of my components of simplification, which will include healthier eating and exercise, as well as going to the doctor, dentist, etc. proactively instead of reactively. However, I want to ensure I keep balance and perspective within this component. I want to continue to bless my family with healthy dinners and homemade treats, and to continue to enjoy the social interactions that occur over food without feeling guilty or stressed. But I will have to consistently and intentionally make healthy choices ... especially when I am eating away from home.
Also from Elise McVeigh's blog: ORGANIZATION. Her emphasis on organization is one I share. From the outside looking in, I know many people would say that I am an organized person. In some ways they are quite right. But I am sure Mr. Simplify could enlighten them to the full dynamic of the situation. I am forgetful. I MUST write any and all commitments in my calendar, with an alarm reminder, or I would almost certainly fail to follow through. I have great intentions and MANY commitments, but part of simplifying in 2010 has to be easing the stress of trying to do everything and be everything to everyone. The even more intense stress of not being able to meet everyone's expectations, especially Mr. Simplify's, is something I want to seriously reduce in 2010. Why is it that when I get over committed or over stressed, the things I let slide are those that impact my family and myself?? .... I have so much to do today that I am going to skip my morning exercise and breakfast; I don't have time to make a healthy and delicious meal for my family for dinner or to go to the grocery store to ensure we have lunch meat and bread for lunch sandwiches this weekend; the laundry or dishes are piling up instead of clean, put away, and ready; my family is having to rush because I didn't....get up in time, pack our gear the night before, remember something, insert 'whoops!' of your choice here. Partly this is organization, but it is also PRIORITIZING. What really deserves my time and energy?
So as I focus in on what simplifying is going to mean for me in 2010, my emphasis will be:
BALANCE
HEALTH
ORGANIZATION
PRIORITIZING
and, the most important component,
RELATIONSHIPS (God, Family, Friends, Community and the relationship I have with Myself)
Prioritizing my relationships and the amount of time I spend on each is going to be crucial to simplifying.
Finally, as I write this, I think the end game I am looking for is PEACE ... a reduction of stress; a strengthening of the most vital relationships in my life; a contentment that I am using my time wisely; a savoring of the rewards that come from doing things that matter, even if it is just blessing my family by making sure there is toilet paper; and a feeling of gratitude for what I am able to accomplish because I am focused on the things that are important to me.

My New Year's Resolution

Ahhhh, New Year's Resolutions.
My 2010 goal: SIMPLIFY.
I started thinking that this would be my goal about 6 weeks before 2009 ended. Now 2010 is actually upon us, and it is time to act. Of course, that requires answering a few key questions....
What does it mean for me to simplify my life?
What would a more simplified version of my life look like?
What is the real end-goal?
How can I track my progress? Well, the tracking my progress part is actually a pretty easy question to answer. My first ever foray into the blogosphere!
So here I am, Mrs. Simplify, on the quest to create a more meaningful 2010 by focusing on my life priorities. Which probably means I better determine what they are!